What's The Worst That Could Happen

In the spirit of election day, I'll break one of my promises and talk a bit about politics. Well, more like riff on politics. If you want educated, serious poli-talks, navigate your interbots over to my good pal José's blag, which I'm not going to post a link for as I am lazy, but he's over in the blogs I follow bit. If you're in the mood for un-serious poli-talks, carry on.
Anyhoozers. Remeber in 2000 when Samuel Tilden and Rutherford B. Hayes- wait. No. -When Bush and Gore ran against each other and electoral stuff happened and Bush won but didn't really? I try to forget, too. Well, look on the bright side. This election couldn't possibly be worse, could it? Of course it could!

THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE THE '08 ELECTION WORSE THAN '00:

-As a joke, millions of voters write in Ron Paul- causing him to actually win.
-A last minute ticket-swap late monday night creates a Biden- McCain ticket; the country is once again ruled by Old White Guys in what is perhaps the greatest Punk'd in American history.
-The secret service goes on strike. Agents refuse to protect anyone unless they each get to personally examine Sarah Palin's "grassy knolls", whatever that means.
-All election machines fail, save one booth in Dunderscum, Utah.
-All election machines fail and the race is decided in a round of rock-paper-scissors.
-All election machines malfunction and, due to a technical glitch, Robin Williams is elected president, forcing the nation to actually live through "Man Of The Year". In related news, Jon Stewart dies of envy.
-The U.S. invades every nation on Earth, INCLUDING ITSELF, late Tuesday morning; both nominess refuse to pull out of any of the wars, arguing "Why ruin the first real World War?"
-Florida secedes, taking with it its significant- wait. No, that would be a good thing.

Happy election day kids.

- d. k. sulk